Resolution Project Number One: My Office

My resolutions this year are to tackle projects that are just scary to me. This room is intended to be a place to organize bills, store my crafts and books and to, frankly carve out a little bit of space to be all mine. Deep breath…with a trash bag in one hand and a chardonnay in another…I venture into…well, I’m not sure…but this rooms makes me nervous!

The Office: A History

When I first moved in, this room was a room for things to gather. Once upon a time, this was one of two spare rooms in my boyfriend’s home. Years of collection had grown into these rooms, a testament to the devastation of Harrington’s divorce. Immediately, one of the two rooms needed to become a room for my son who was born in October, 2008. Before he was born, I wanted to make sure the tiny little boy would already have his own space. Harry’s room spewed its contents into the trash bin, the basement, the garage and, of course, into the other spare room.

The first attempt at conquering the office was in 2009. My daughter Emma was visiting for the summer and I wanted to give her the privacy of her own space. For weeks, I sifted through piles of Harrington’s past. In this process, I discovered that the shadows of his ex wife had been residing in that room. Her photos, hers receipts and bank statements, her make-up all jumped out and attacked me from innocent looking boxes, drawers and piles of junk. I stared her down (metaphorically) and boxed up important bits of their life together and all else went into the trash bin. I repainted the flat yellow walls with a sparkly light blue, took down the out-dated, dusty curtains and cleaned and painted pretty shuttered doors. With the purchase of a single bed, Emma had her own space.

In 2010, I tired of not having my own space, so I found a small, neat, and organized apartment 25 miles away from Harrington’s home and The Office. My idea of art covered every wall and things that were packed away in boxes were now on display for my gratification in my haven. Now, the rigors of a 25 mile relationship with Harrington and the difficulties of co-parenting began to take its toll. The price for having my own space was difficult on my little sub-family of three, our bills were now doubled. I gave up my own space, boxed by life again, to be opened again when life offered enough room for me. The Office was a storage locker yet again.

2011, the first attempt at reclaiming my own space. Trash bags that burst at the seams were removed from the little room. I painted a chalkboard wall to track bills that are due. An elaborate filing system replaced piles.

Somehow, a ladder found its was into The Office. There are two televisions in the room, the first was meant for the room but was rendered useless by the removal of its cable box. The computer in Harrington’s office blew up and joined other computer skeletons and body parts. Like modern day rednecks, our cars on blocks in the front yard are really computer and laptops parts strewn about the house. Two box fans, Harry’s train table and chair and  my beloved boxed books and crafts all joined the crap party. The mess that I could blame on her once, then him, again, is now ours.

The Office: Present Tense:

I’ve resolved that nobody else can give me my own space, it simply needs to be taken. The daunting part is that for now, it involves nothing more than shifting stuff. The Office will empty…it has to. Unfortunately, the stuff in it will only become part of a new and scarier project for another day. Stay with me…we will get to the basement and *gasp* the garage.

I think I’ll need more chardonnay!

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