Writing 101: Serially Lost (part one) When did I lose my confidence?

Third Grade. Mrs. Wilson’s class. I lost control of my bladder. Okay, if I do the math, which is exponentially getting more difficult to do, I can place this event at about 1972. Everyone was getting excited about Disney World opening. It was what we were talking about in class when THAT happened. I remember our blackboard was so big and I felt so small. I can’t recall what the restroom break protocol was, but I remember being frightened to ask and to use the restroom by myself. So, I let it go. At my desk, in my chair. And I thought that I got away with it too…

But I didn’t. The teacher knew, and soon the whole class knew too. My wet drawers and I were escorted to the “office” to wait with fear and humiliation for my Mom to come and get my uncomfortable butt. And it continued. She came, she was “embarrassed” (this turned out to be a theme that still follows me into my later years). I still can hear her on the phone with some relative or another telling my tale.

And the next day, I had to go to class. With the same kids who would be with me for the next nine years. That incident became the way I defined myself into adulthood. I became “that girl who peed her pants in 3rd grade”. New kids came to our school, and although it was not the way I would choose to introduce myself, inevitably, someone had to share that information. Even in high school, somebody felt the need to allude to it when they signed my yearbook in my junior year.

Next Loss: The 6th grade spelling bee. In spite of my pee-pants reputation, I grew to be a pretty good speller. That was my pride, that’s how I wanted for people to see me. I was excited when the spelling bee was announced. It was to be though out the entire 6th grade including all three classes on a stage for all to see. And I was one of two children selected to represent my class!

Round one: I listened to the other children spell their words. I knew them all! I couldn’t wait for my turn! And then, finally…Martha…your word…

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3 responses to “Writing 101: Serially Lost (part one) When did I lose my confidence?

  1. Hey! Where is the rest! lol what was your word? I also feel like I have lost my confidence somewhere along the line so I was hoping to hear more of where you were going with this! Great start anyway! 🙂

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    • Hi countryheartbeat,
      Thank you for taking the time to check out my assignment and even digging deeper into some of my older posts (I believe you may be the first reader!).

      My word was dessert, which I confused with desert. Still ticks me off 40 years later.

      I look forward to hearing from you, it’s nice to know that I am not the only one who is “confidence challenged”!

      MH

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  2. Your writing is awesome. After starting my blog, I too lost my confidence. I had people telling how to write and what I should say and then friends giving me indirect negative comments and I just lost what I wanted to say. I’m hoping for a jump start.

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