Yesterday, I was ranting.

 God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Prayers/Protestant/Addiction/Serenity-Prayer.aspx#wPKIdpUh3IBQj4f7.99

I had a bad day yesterday. In 2015, a bad day usually gives license to a rant. I sat down with my laptop and blogged a big one. I filled it with facts that supported both my position and my need to unburden myself with my own truth. I read my rant to my daughter, Emma, who was home from college for a few days. “Mom, that sounds really ranty, you should mull it over a day before you publish it“. I shut my laptop, worked on a few reading exercises with my son, Harry. I made dinner and enjoyed my Sunday night obsession of Downton Abbey.

I woke up this morning to more bad news. Things weren’t getting any better, in fact, they seemed even more dramatic and rant worthy. At this point, the cause of my bad day is unimportant, I’m not even going to share it.

Then I did something different. I stayed away from my laptop, I stayed away from my blog. I was, for the most part, angered by comments, by opinions. Opinions that were brought into light by someone else’s bad day, by someone else’s need to rant. It occurred to me that, maybe, by publishing my own anxious words, I could make someone else have a bad day. I could hurt other people by merely unburdening my mind of pent up words.

That thing, that circumstance, that has me pissed off today may blow by with time, it may not. But my words, my righteous indignation, would be out there, in cyberspace…forever and never to blow away. My rant would not change anybody’s mind, but it would be sure to piss off someone, somewhere. As supported as I think my rant was, my research was colored by seeking only facts that support my own opinion.

If time makes this is something that is worth overcoming, I will find a way. But not by jerking my knee, not by pulling triggers that ought to be left alone. I will honor the words of serenity, courage, and wisdom.

I’m going to let this pass, I’m not taking the moral high-ground, I’m not endorsing the cause of my circumstance either. I’m just going to close my laptop, bake some cookies with Emma, make some soap and do something that makes me feel good and won’t compel others to feel ranty. Too often, we unburden, we confess, we rant and put those emotions out into the World. Today, I choose to not. I won’t feed this little monster who almost escaped, because tomorrow, he might just be gone.

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