Fearless Moms, Doubts and a Beautiful Disaster

I love stumbling and tripping through the Blogosphere, hearing different voices and meeting new friends while drinking coffee in my yoga pants in the comfort of my own office. Some of my stumbles have been challenging, some were as comfortable as sock monkey slippers on a tile floor.

During a Blogging 101 challenge to meet my neighbors, I wandered into the perfect combination of challenge and monkey slippers. I found sock monkey roller skates in the form of A Beautiful Disaster:

Not only do we share common views on parenting, we share a WordPress theme (Hemingway Rewritten). I’m also a sucker for impressionist painting, which greets me as header art on the pages. I like her style!

As far as the sock monkey roller skating challenge goes, I am a Mom to a precocious boy named Harry. I am married to a stubborn (but charming) man named Harrington who is pushing me to considering home school for our little boy. I have been resisting this because:

  • I’ve already raised three little products of the public school system and they came out alive thrived. I couldn’t be more proud of my daughters.
  • I am afraid that my son’s ciriculum cirricuulum curriculum would include the Real Housewives of Orange County, fetching Mommy the correct beer from the fridge, Beginner DVD Yoga for P.E., lively debate on how often to vacuum the living room carpet and locating the laundry bin.
  • My husband watches way too much Fox News.

A Beautiful Disaster addresses the issue of self-doubt often in her blog. She has, commendably, taken a job with less pay and fewer hours to focus on the education of her children, a very brave move. Conversely, because she’s taken this on she wonders where her fairy Godmother has gotten to

https://asewalson.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/wheres-my-fairy-godmother/

and if she is really failing at everything

https://asewalson.wordpress.com/2014/11/16/am-i-really-failing-at-everything/

And, ultimately, her strength:

“Maybe in the end, I will look back and see that my something more just might have been accomplished in my children. They are destined to do great things. Maybe it was some small gesture I did for a stranger, or a friend, and I didn’t even notice the impact I made at the time. I just have to keep being me, and keep being driven. I cannot lose focus of being the person I am meant to be.” https://asewalson.wordpress.com/2014/12/09/something-great/

She is more than okay. Parenthood is fraught with doubt, and the business of turning babies into functioning, thinking, feeling people who work and raise more babies isn’t a proven science. As adults, we are products of our own mistakes and the mistakes of our parents.

  • Grown people make their best guess
  • Grown people second guess that guess
  • Grown people make their best effort based on what they know

Many of us feel as though we lose ourselves in the process, but what is true and real is that we break off pieces of ourselves to feed our future. If you look closely, you can see the the broken off pieces of you in the way your daughter loves to read, your son’s love of broccoli  and with each breath of a sleeping baby.

This Beautiful Disaster is brave to tell the story of the doubt we all have beneath the facade. But the doubt is what makes her good. Brave to not be an expert, to be flawed, to be human. I see you Beautiful Disaster, you are not lost, you are beautiful.

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5 responses to “Fearless Moms, Doubts and a Beautiful Disaster

  1. I am left teary eyed and speechless as I read your post. Thank you so much for this encouragement. I more than appreciate your words here today!

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  2. Pingback: Speechless | A Beautiful Disaster

  3. beautiful post! to be honest parenthood terrifies me. i want kids, but have no idea what i will do once i have them haha. posts like these will be very helpful to me! great work!

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  4. Thank you for reminding me that doubt is perfectly natural. I often wonder if I am doing right by my kids, it seems such a struggle to balance everything at times.

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  5. I LOVE your notion of being able to see the broken off pieces of ourselves in our children….just love that !

    Like

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