Angry and I know it. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle with it, damn it.

A couple of days ago, I began writing a post dealing with women and anger. On how many of us deny it or don’t succumb to it’s temptation, how it is unladylike, unproductive and leaves us in a state of regret. And I’m not sure who is to blame, or that blame should even be an issue. Can anything good, anything productive come from that state of feeling?

Yesterday, it happened. We knew it was coming; my husband got laid off. Even though it was expected, it still feels like a gut punch. There is nobody to blame, as this layoff is industry wide. Yesterday I was angry, but without any direction to point my anger. I boiled, I roared, I festered and got even more pissed when I figured out there is no avenue of release. There is no face to put on a punching bag.

I reason with my thoughts “we still have our family, we still have our health, this is a set back, not a devastation“. On some level, it angers me that I have to play games with my mind. I have to let it go. Or let as much of it go as I can. As much as I want to dwell here, it is not an option. A new version of our future is waiting for us and I can’t afford to carry that kind of baggage.

Funny part, is that I know everything will be okay in the end. We will dust off, pick up and rebuild. And maybe, this anger will stay behind, as a character in a story that is in the past.

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6 responses to “Angry and I know it. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle with it, damn it.

  1. Your post reminds me of a book I read recently called “The Woman Upstairs” It is about a mild mannered woman who is actually very mad on the inside for several reasons. It is a good book. Check it out if you get the chance.

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  2. Am so sorry to hear of your situation. I’d be pretty angry, too! Great post…lots of food for thought. http://lilypupslife.wordpress.com/

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  3. I went to your About page to find out more about you and there was no About page! Acck! So I’ll comment here because this was a great post. Sometimes we just have to rant! BTW I talk to myself in crowded rooms too.;) ~Elle

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  4. Hey, just read this! I’m so sorry about your husband’s unemployment. Having lost my job recently myself, i can totally relate to your fears and anger over it. You’re human, done blame yourself for having those feelings. Just remember, when one door closes, another one opens!

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