A couple of days ago, I began writing a post dealing with women and anger. On how many of us deny it or don’t succumb to it’s temptation, how it is unladylike, unproductive and leaves us in a state of regret. And I’m not sure who is to blame, or that blame should even be an issue. Can anything good, anything productive come from that state of feeling?
Yesterday, it happened. We knew it was coming; my husband got laid off. Even though it was expected, it still feels like a gut punch. There is nobody to blame, as this layoff is industry wide. Yesterday I was angry, but without any direction to point my anger. I boiled, I roared, I festered and got even more pissed when I figured out there is no avenue of release. There is no face to put on a punching bag.
I reason with my thoughts “we still have our family, we still have our health, this is a set back, not a devastation“. On some level, it angers me that I have to play games with my mind. I have to let it go. Or let as much of it go as I can. As much as I want to dwell here, it is not an option. A new version of our future is waiting for us and I can’t afford to carry that kind of baggage.
Funny part, is that I know everything will be okay in the end. We will dust off, pick up and rebuild. And maybe, this anger will stay behind, as a character in a story that is in the past.