Okay, okay. I get it hoarders. I watch you on television agonizing over throwing out that doll you got in 7th grade. I see the heartache it causes you to part with your stuff. I know that once upon a flipping time that thing that is poised to be donated cost you…I don’t know…one million dollars?! Sure, that crap may sell on e-bay or Craigslist if you ever get around to it.
Hey Hoarders, You get your own television shows, someone comes in, listens to you rant about the value of your poop in a bag or skanky collection of diseased cats sculls People want to help you. They want to clean up after you, they want to give you free therapy before you end up smushed under a pile of urine soaked, valuable magazines that span the entirety of the 90s.
You say that at the end of your life you didn’t waste your time on Earth cleaning.
But what about the Anti-hoarder? The former military wife who moved every three years and loves to travel light? The purger of clothing that doesn’t get worn enough to take up space, the Goodwill donation queen who gives away extra sets of dishes. The parent who breaks their kid’s heart when the toys they’ve outgrown get donated to a pre-school. The person whose ultimate dream vacation involves packing a bathing suit and toiletries that that’s all?
Nope, these behaviors get no press. Because there is no physical danger in needing to make sure the kitchen is clean before you go to bed. These control freaks are merely annoying. The panic attack that they get when a pile of stuff they deem useless gets dumped into sub-piles everywhere doesn’t matter. Even if the sub piles get dumped into an area that was pain-staking cleaned a few days before, Because it only matters to them. Can’t that panic attack count as much as a collector’s angst at throwing away a receipt for a pack of Marlboros from 2001?
Because at the end of your life, nobody will remember your clean house. And, heaven forbid, your remains in an urn end up in a garage, next to a yard sale game of Chinese Checkers with a few marbles missing. But, hey, at least when you check out, you will do it without carrying your Earthly burden of stuff. Cause in the end, we all have to travel light.